~Anger.. Sad.. Sorrow~

Hi, yesterday i was still sick. I feel real hot inside my body but when i test using thermometer the temperature was ok. Whole day i feel so hot. Ish.. Yesterday evening i went out cycling and i saw Shu-lyn. She told me Sze Yang was there but i didnt see him. Later my body feel hot again. I ate panadol but no use. Cause its not my temperature that's hot but there's something really hot inside my body. Im not sure why. I wanted to see Chinese doctor but i was force to go moral uplifting society also can say like temple to take some medicines. Dunno which Christians will agree to go temple ah? I went but i was force to go. I took the medicine. But i didn't eat. Until now i also didn't eat. I don't want to eat. I don't want to be control. I want a life that's control by myself not other people. I hate to be force. You can force me to go but you can't force my heart to go. Try it again. BOOM- you may win now. But when im older, when i can drive, when i got my own money don't even try to control me. Do it again and again. You win everytime. But you can't win my heart. I wanted to be faithful but they just stop me to be. You like to say bad things about Christians, don't be a Christian then. No one will force you to go church. You don't want to go its your problem. You love to go that place its your problem. Not my problem. Its your life. But my life its in God. Like the song we sang today "My life is in you Lord, my strength is in you Lord". You can force me now. When i grow older don't even try. You will be the loser. LOSER!!!!!