Sorry i left you blog!

Hey guys.. im back again! One week frm now, form 5 of year 2011 is going to sit for SPM and i believe many of us are nervous about it. Its the last exam of high skul if we dont count form 6 bcuz not everyone will be taking form 6. Im scare of my sejarah bcuz i have no clue of wat it is crapping about but i wan an A for it! To MR SEJARAH: Im gonna kill you during SPM and not going to let you kill me instead! Mark my words! My mood is going up and down all the time mainly bcuz many things had happened in this year and year 2011 isnt a very good year for our family. The only good thing is dat there's a newborn baby in the house and she's very energetic. Babies juz wont get tired. Bsides dat, its been a bad year bcuz my mum was not feeling well for the past few months and was admitted into hosp for around 1 month. And during dat period, my dad left us. He was not feeling well for 1 or 2 months and suddenly he complained he cant breathe. And thats it.. we're separated. Wat is left is the memories he gave us and we can only see him through photos but he aint someone who loves to take pictures so there isnt much photos of him. I missed him and wanted him back!! But i know that everyone will have to leave this world some day and we'll meet once again! Bcuz of wat had happened, i neglected my studies and am not prepared for my SPM. But I will do my best and leave the rest to God! I believe when there's a will, there's a way. I hope everything will turn out fine! *fingers crossed. Goodluck to all SPM candidate 2011! All the best and God bless!

Happy Bday To Me!!

Hi everyone, its 1st of July! means its the day i was born on this earth for the 17th year. All praises and glory to God and thx to my parents for bringing me up till this day. B4 my day ends, i wanna wish myself Happy Bday!

痛苦的生活。。

这是我第一次用华语写部落格，因为我觉得此时只有华语能写出我的感觉，我的不自在。我觉得我很失败，活了17年想不起我做过一件有意义的事。。觉得人生没什么好留念的，只不过是白活了。可能有些人觉得我似乎没有烦恼，但我的烦恼要跟你讲吗？我的不开心讲了难道有帮助吗？讲了只不过是多一个人烦恼，不如我一人受就好了。你曾想过为什么一个人要当小丑吗? 他逗你开心可是他的内心是怎样你又知道吗？不知情的人只会加盐加醋，从没想过为何他会那样。。平时讲话，大家只会说我讲太多了，当我想闭口听你们讲，你们好像不习惯我不讲话，一定要强逼我讲话。讲多错多，不讲话没人会说你哑巴。这句话听得多但当我不讲话你们就会说我没用，不敢讲话。我只不过是不会呈现自己，有时你们没告诉我哪句不能说我把它说了，你们责怪我。不说也骂我怎么不说。到底想我怎样？做人好为难，不说谎有罪吗？想做一个好孩子更是难了，总会有人处处找你麻烦，要你放弃。这是不是神给我的一个考验？我有本事与恶魔战斗下去吗？我会是胜利者吗？有些事情我不懂怎么说，我希望这个感觉可以离我而去，但是它好像要赢了，我打胜仗的机会好像只有10%。我知道死不是解决的方法，但是我能做什么？学业，朋友，家人，健康似乎都在于我打战，我觉得人生很痛苦，可是人生不是一场戏，喊停就停，我只好选择逃避。。